Stanley Cup Finals, Game 5

And here we go with Game 5. Best game yet!

Photos from the Detroit News and Detroit Free Press, captioning technology via the ICHC LOLbuilder. The LOL regarding Evgeni Malkin's ongoing quest for pie was made by special guest LOLer Casey!

Stanley Cup Finals, Game 2

Ohai! Sorry it's taken so long to post these ones. I was still too excited the day after the game (because I WAS THERE!!!!!) and then Games 3 and 4 happened, and, well, you know. But now we can all haz LOLs.

Photos courtesy of the Detroit Free Press and Detroit News, with a nice shoutout to ICHC.

Stanley Cup Finals, Game 1

Yay!

Photos from the Detroit Free Press and Detroit News. Technical assist from ICHC.

Western Conference Speed Finals!

Ohai! Gary Bettman's harebrained idea to start the Cup Finals almost on the heels of the Conference Finals has left me almost no time to make LOLs for Round 3. So here, moments before puck drop of Game 1 vs. Pittsburgh, I give you The Western Conference Finals in Twelve LOLs or Less! Photos from the Detroit News and Detroit Free Press.

Game 1:







Game 2:







Game 4:







Game 5:







There, done with time to spare! And for the first time, I'm grateful for the long playoff pre-games!

Round 2 Game 7

Ohai! Iz almost time 4 confrens finalz, so ai sho u how we got heer!

Photos from the Detroit News and Detroit Free Press, captions from the ICHC Lolbuilder and me.

Round 2 Game 5

Commanding lead, WOOT!

Photos from the Detroit News, captions from me and the ICHC Lol Builder.

First, one that is too funny for a caption:



Poor Lidstrom! You won't see him looking that undignified very often, that's for sure. And take a look at the angry eye on the blonde girl who's mostly covered by Rob Niedermeyer-- I'm pretty sure Rob does NOT want to meet her in a dark alley!

Now the real LOLs.

Round 2, Games 1 and 4

Like last year, I'm only doing LOLs for wins! Which has made things a bit odd this round. But here you go. Photos from the Freep, captioning provided by ICanHasCheezburger.

Round 1 Games 3 & 4

Ohai! Here I am again. These lols r not so grate ackshually. I promise I'll do better next round!

(Photos courtesy of the Detroit News, except for the one of Niklas Kronwall defying gravity, which is from the Detroit Free Press.)

First, one that's so funny on its own that a caption might ruin it:



Now some captioned lols:

The Return of NHLOL! Round 1 Game 2

I'm BACK! And I've got LOLHOCKEY!

(Photos courtesy of the Detroit News, captions courtesy of me, captioning capabilities thanks to the good folks over at icanhascheezburger.com--their LOL Builder works a little better than Photoshop for these purposes unless I'm including a special effect.)

Hatred Arising: The Resurgence of Right Wing Extremism

This is a paper I wrote for one of my classes last semester. I thought it would be appropriate to post now. I did not realize how afraid I was for President Obama until after the inauguration went off successfully and I discovered how relieved I actually was. (Paper written in late November 2008.)


Far right terror groups, or hate groups, which seemed not so long ago to be confined to the fringes of American society, have taken advantage of recent societal and economic developments to make their voices heard by the mainstream once again. Since they seem likely to play a role in events over the next several years, it is worth examining some of the types of right wing extremist groups, their motivations and concerns, and ways in which government and law enforcement can keep them from criminal activity.

Right wing extremist groups have diverse goals and means. They seem to fall into three main categories: patriot groups (militias), non-revolutionary racist groups, and revolutionary racist groups. While it is important not to overgeneralize about the far right, there is a great deal of crossover and similarity between the prongs of the movement, and they may cooperate with each other to accomplish a given goal. The groups tend to share a hatred or distrust of the federal government and fear the increasing diversity of the United States (Lyman & Potter, 2007; Michael, 2003).

The militia movement's identity comes from the Second Amendment to the US Constitution: "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed." They believe that the government is conspiring to take their weapons and that any environmental protection law is an infringement on their rights (Levitas, 2002). They tend to be located in rural areas and have a populist appeal. Posse Comitatus groups, for example, claim that no one should have to recognize any legal authority beyond the county level (Michael, 2003).

The seeds of the militia movement were planted during the farm crisis and environmental protection regulation of the 1980s, but the movement began to truly take hold in the 1990s. Groups were catalyzed into action and growth by gun control laws, such as the 1994 passage of the Brady Bill, which regulated firearms sales. They also garnered sympathy and recruits because of two botched federal raids, the first being the 1992 standoff between federal agents and white supremacist Randy Weaver in Ruby Ridge, Idaho. Weaver's unarmed wife and teenage son were killed, and the deaths made them martyrs in the eyes of the militia movement. The second was the 1993 siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas, which resulted in the deaths of seventy-eight people (Lyman & Potter, 2007; Michael, 2003).

The militia movement reached its zenith in 1995, when Timothy McVeigh and Terry Nichols bombed the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City. McVeigh and Nichols had ties to the militia movement, particularly the Michigan Militia, but the Michigan Militia steadfastly denies that the two were ever members of the group (Levitas, 2002; Michael, 2003). Militia activity died down after the Oklahoma City bombing, but made a resurgence in 1999 due to fears over a potential Y2K disaster. When no Y2K apocalypse occurred, the militia movement dwindled and fell out of the public eye (Hamm, 2004; Levitas, 2002).

The non-revolutionary racist right seeks to educate the public about racial issues, sway whites to their views (a process colloqiually known as "awakening"), and gather like-minded individuals together. They attempt to maintain White control of society through legal and political means, although they are prepared for at least the abstract possibility of violent confrontations in the future. These are, for the most part, law-abiding organizations, although their ideas and values provide impetus for race-related crime. The non-revolutionary right includes groups such as the Council of Conservative Citizens, American Renaissance, and some neo-Confederate secessionist groups (Michael, 2003). Researcher George Michael (2003) also includes the Ku Klux Klan as a non-revolutionary group, in spite of their criminal and terrorist activity. "For much of its history it has been the defender of a racial status quo and has not sought to really overthrow or change the government" (p. 63). "The Klan persists more as an idea. And some of those inspired by this idea have harrassed and terrorized people by way of assault, murder, vandalism, and cross-burnings" (p.62).

Far more immediately dangerous is the revolutionary racist right. These are groups which believe a "race war" is both inevitable and necessary. Some favor the creation of a minority-free White homeland in the Pacific Northwest or the South. Others wish to deport all minorities from the United States. Many of the groups believe that a secret cabal of Jews controls the federal government, which they refer to as "ZOG," for Zionist Occupation Government (Lyman & Potter, 2007; Michael, 2003).

A large number of revolutionary groups use religion either as a unifying system or as a justification for their inherent racism. Christian Identity groups, for example, believe that only Aryans are the descendants of Adam and Eve. Minorities, whom the Identity groups often refer to as "mud people," are actually descendants of Eve and the Serpent, or Satan. Other racist groups reject Christianity altogether because of its Jewish origin. Some of these are followers of Odinism, a neo-pagan movement based on Norse mythology, while others follow the Creativity Movement, also known as the World Church of the Creator. This is not a religion per se, in that it does not specify a particular deity to worship. Instead, Creativity asserts that the laws of nature prove the superiority of Whites and prohibit racial mixing (Dobratz, 2001).

Because revolutionary racist groups see themselves as soldiers in the race war, they can be particularly prone to terrorist acts. A group known as The Order went on a violent spree of crime during the 1980s. They hoped that their example would start the White revolution which would overthrow the ZOG. Instead, the group members were arrested or killed during confrontations with law enforcement (Lyman & Potter, 2007; Michael, 2003). Other groups are nearly indistinguishable from militia organizations. The best known of these is The Covenant, the Sword, and the Arm of the Lord. The group stockpiles weapons and survival supplies and thoroughly drills members in survivalist and paramilitary tactics (Michael, 2003).

After the excitement surrounding the high-profile catalyzing events of the 1990s, right wing extremists and racialist groups had fallen into disarray. The Ku Klux Klan and other factions attempted to use distrust of Arabs and Hispanics based on the 9/11 attacks and immigration issues, but throughout the better part of the decade, they were unable to rally (Jonsson, 2008; Levitas, 2002).

Unfortunately, the faltering economy and the election of Barack Obama as President of the United States seem to be contributing to a rise in right wing extremist activity. The Southern Poverty Law Center and law enforcement agencies report that since the general election on November 4, 2008, more than 200 hate-related incidents, including cross burnings, hanging effigies, and betting pools hoping for the assassination of President-elect Obama, have occurred in the United States. Owners of racist and extremist websites have bragged that since the election, their sites and message boards have received enough increased traffic to crash their web servers (Jonsson, 2008; Witt, 2008). David Holthouse (2008) reported on the Southern Poverty Law Center's Hatewatch blog that many voices on the far right are calling for the rebirth of the militia movement. Gun sales and applications for firearms licenses have increased dramatically since the election (Holthouse, 2008; Johnson, 2008). Even before the election, two men with ties to a Kentucky Klan chapter were arrested and charged in a conspiracy to assassinate Obama (Witt, 2008).

The uncertainty and anger caused by the combination of the economic crisis, demographic trends indicating that whites will no longer comprise a majority of the US population after one more generation, and the election of the nation's first non-white president provide conditions which are conducive to the growth of right wing extremist groups. "I think we're in a worrying situation right now, a perfect storm of conditions coming together that could easily favor the continued growth of these groups," said Mark Potok of the Southern Poverty Law Center (Witt, 2008).

There are a number of difficulties related to control of far right extremist groups. First and foremost, it is often a challenge to determine to a court's satisfaction whether or not the perpetrator of a hate crime acted alone or on the orders of a larger group. Since the failure of The Order to spark revolution, many right wing terror groups have loosened their organizational structures. They work under a system called leaderless resistance. In short, the members of the organizations know the principles of the organizations and the types of terrorism and criminal activity which would best further the group's goals, and they are to act on those goals as the opportunity strikes. The arrest or death of one member of the group does little to deter the group as a whole (Levitas, 2002; Michael, 2003).

First Amendment rights are also a concern when dealing with hate groups. "Anytime you start seeing [extremist propaganda] floating around, you have to be concerned," explained Lt. Gary Thornberry of the Oklahoma Highway Patrol, a member of the FBI's Joint Terrorism Task Force. "As far as it being an alarmist situation, I don't see that yet. From a law enforcement point of view, you have to be careful, because it's not illegal to have an ideology" (Jonsson, 2008, para. 6). The FBI ran into difficulty avoiding First Amendment violations when they were struggling with the Ku Klux Klan during the 1960s. Their program, called COINTELPRO-WHITE HATE, was a massive campaign to infiltrate Klan groups, discredit Klan leadership, and turn Klansmen against each other. The FBI program was successful in neutralizing the KKK as an effective force, but many of their methods were called into question. In particular, they were criticized for setting up some of the situations which led to Klan arrests and for their surveillance and infiltration techniques (Drabble, 2004; Michael, 2003).

In order to be successful in combatting right wing terror groups, law enforcement must work closely with watchdog organizations, such as the Anti-Defamation League and the Southern Poverty Law Center. Not only do these organizations do a thorough job of tracking and categorizing hate-related activity, they can also be powerful forces in directly attacking the extremist groups by filing civil suits which, if successful, could financially bankrupt the public sides of the extremist groups (Michael, 2003).

Law enforcement should also give a high priority to monitoring internet communication. The far right groups have had a presence on the internet since its beginning, and they have become adept at using electronic communication to publicize their ideas and recruit new membership (Gerstenfeld, Grant, & Chiang, 2003). While the extremist groups may not directly post plans for attacks online, law enforcement would be able to monitor trends and increases in traffic to right wing websites which would alert them to the possibility of impending terror acts.

Law enforcement agencies also need to make full use of the provisions of the USA PATRIOT Act. These reforms, passed in the wake of the 9/11 attacks, greatly increase the government's power for surveillance and detection of terrorist activity, and this certainly includes domestic terrorists as well as the Middle Eastern terrorists who inspired the law (Levitas, 2002).

Finally, and perhaps most importantly, law enforcement officials need to make a greater effort to understand the motivations of the far right groups. One of the reasons Waco was such a disaster for the government was that they made no attempt to understand the Branch Davidians' religious background; they treated the group as political in nature and were thus unprepared for the group's willingness to die (Michael, 2003). Understanding as many aspects of a group's purpose as possible makes it far more likely that any standoff will end through negotiations rather than violence. One way to do this may be to infiltrate the groups not just to learn potential plans, but also to learn and understand the groups' philosophies.

Given the great diversity of ideas and the bountiful network of communication available within the United States, it may not be possible to completely squelch the ideas of right wing terror groups. However, vigilant law enforcement and a well-educated population should help to minimize or even negate the damage such hate groups may wish to cause.

Works Cited

Dobratz, B. (2001). The role of religion in the collective identity of the white
racialist movement. Journal for the Scientific Study of Religion 40(2), 287-301.

Drabble, J. (2004). To ensure domestic tranquility: The FBI, COINTELPRO-WHITE
HATE and political discourse, 1964–1971. Journal of American Studies, 38(2), 297-328.

Gerstenfeld, P., Grant, D., & Chiang, C. (2003). Hate online: A content analysis of
extremist internet sites. Analysis of Social Issues and Public Policy, 3(1), 29-44.

Hamm, M. (2004). Apocalyptic violence: The seduction of terrorist subcultures.
Theoretical Criminology, 8(3), 323-339.

Holthouse, D. (2008, November 19). Ideologues call for post-election militia revival.
Message posted to http://www.splcenter.org/blog/

Johnson, K. (2008, November 6). On concerns over gun control, gun sales are up. The
New York Times. Retrieved from http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/07/us/07guns.html

Jonsson, P. (2008, November 17). After Obama's win, white backlash festers in US.
Christian Science Monitor. Retrieved from http://www.csmonitor.com/2008/1117/p03s01-uspo.html

Levitas, D. (2002). The terrorist next door. New York: St. Martin's Press.

Lyman, M., & Potter, G. (2007). Organized crime (4th ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ:
Pearson Education Inc.

Michael, G. (2003). Confronting right-wing extremism and terrorism in the USA. New
York: Routledge.

Witt, H. (2008, November 23). White extremists lash out over election of first black
president. Los Angeles Times. Retrieved from http://www.latimes.com/news/nationworld/nation/la-na-klan23-2008nov23,0,7570102.story?page=1

Happy Painful New Year

So far in 2009, I have managed to be sick. That's pretty much it.

It all started on Tuesday, 12/30. I've been feeling tired and cold all the time, and really, when I think about it, it has been getting steadily worse over the last couple of years or so, so I thought maybe it would be a good idea to have my thyroid checked. I called and made an appointment for Friday afternoon. Well, apparently a number of germs took this as an invitation, because by the time Friday afternoon came around, I had come down with:

• tonsilitis
• a urinary tract infection
• my period (not that the period is caused by germs, of course, but it certainly doesn't help me feel any better)

I was kind of disappointed with the doctor's response to my hypothyroid concerns. I made this long involved list of symptoms, and she just sort of rolled her eyes and asked if I got it off the internet. Well, excuuuuuuse me for trying to be an informed patient. The problem is that with the insurance I have, I have to use the clinic at the University, so I don't have a doctor that's really MY doctor-- I'm just assigned to whomever is available. I had hoped to see Dr. H or Dr. M, who have done right by me before, but instead I got Dr. P, with whom this was my first visit. I was not impressed.

Anyway, she did order the bloodwork for hypothyroid tests, along with a blood count and a metabolic panel. She is thorough, I'll give her that.

She also gave me a prescription for Bactrim to knock out the tonsilitis and the UTI. When I got my pills home and got ready to take one, I almost fainted. They are this big!!!!
(Sorry it's such a bad picture, but the pill is next to a dime for scale.) Why would anyone give a pill that size to someone with a sore throat?!? I had to cut it in half to take it. I've managed to choke down two days worth now (three days to go), and I'm feeling somewhat better. I did sleep all day today, though. I plan on doing much the same tomorrow. I'm sick, I get to do that. Illness has its privileges.

NHL + Thanksgiving + Delirium

Last night, I was taking a break from writing a horrible, hateful, won't-come-together, can't-motivate-myself paper (which is due Monday!) to sprawl on the couch and watch the Red Wings play the Columbus Blue Jackets.

Apparently writer's block can manifest itself in horrible puns.

"Hey," I said to Casey, "do you know what the Blue Jackets had for Thanksgiving dinner?"

He looked over at me.

"Nashed potatoes!" I exclaimed.

Casey sighed.

A few minutes later, I said, "Do you know what the Dallas Stars had for Thanksgiving dinner?"

"What?"

"Roast Turco!"

He sighed again.

I thought about that one, and then said, "Actually, since it's Texas, they may have had deep-fried Turco, or maybe barbeque Turco."

"Maybe," said Casey.

A few minutes later, I asked, "So, do you know what the Nashville Predators had for Thanksgiving dinner?"

Casey pretended not to hear me.

"Baked Hamhuis!" I answered myself happily.

"Shouldn't you be writing your paper?" Casey asked.

"And you know what the Red Wings had for Thanksgiving dessert?" I continued. "Chocolate Maltby!"

At that point, Casey pretended like he was going to eat my nose so I would be quiet, so I stopped.

Besides, I couldn't think of any more NHL players whose names related to food.

My personalized Dewey Decimal Number

Jenny Darrah's Dewey Decimal Section:

714 Water features

Jenny Darrah = 05445418818 = 054+454+188+18 = 714


Class:
700 Arts & Recreation


Contains:
Architecture, drawing, painting, music, sports.



What it says about you:
You're creative and fun, and you're good at motivating the people around you. You're attracted to things that are visually interesting. Other people might not always understand your taste or style, but it's yours.

Find your Dewey Decimal Section at Spacefem.com

Spork You, Man!

Once upon a time, in the far away city of Anchorage, Alaska, there was a very drunk man.

This very drunk man gorged himself on KFC and went out to wander the streets. He happened to see another man with an awesome watch.

"Give me that watch!" demanded Very Drunk Man.

"Never!" said Other Man.

Very Drunk Man tried to rip the watch away from Other Man's wrist, but the watch held firm.

So Very Drunk Man stabbed Other Man with a plastic spork and ran away.

Very Drunk Man is now serving a year-long prison sentence for felony assault with a deadly weapon. It was a plea deal. (Word has it that the judge begged the attorneys to work out a plea deal because he or she would be unable to try the case without laughing his or her be-robed ass right off the bench.)

And just so that you don't think I made this whole thing up, here's the news report from the Anchorage Daily News!

Ban Dan Brown!

Dan Brown novels are a menace to society! He should be banned at once.

Yahoo! News reports that a 25 year old man who stabbed a priest in a church in Rome did so because Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code led him to believe that he was the Antichrist.

So, since every time an act of violence is perpetrated by a young person, organizations such as the American Family Association and Jack Chick Ministries call for bans on violent video games, why are they not now calling for a ban on Dan Brown's novels?

Oh, right. They think the Catholic Church is the Antichrist, and Catholics aren't true Christians. Why, they probably think this delusional man in Rome did them a favor by removing one of "the Devil's servants" from the world!

Now, I've read both The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons, and I must say, the violent video games are usually of far higher quality.

Dan Brown represents a danger to our culture and values! (Or at least, the culture and values of those who advocate quality storytelling!) Wake up, America! Won't someone think of the children? Where is the outrage?

But I'm not about to call for a ban on books of any form, certainly not just a few days before the ALA's Banned Books Week!

No, I just think we should ban Dan Brown himself. Someone keep that man away from the computer!

Best. Counter-Protest. EVER.

Westboro Baptist Church, run by the "Reverend" Fred Phelps, is quite possibly the most insanely hateful group of bigots hiding behind Bibles I have ever heard of in my life. These are the ones who run the website "godhatesfags.com." These are the ones who show up at soldiers' funerals to protest, because of course the US is such an ungodly nation for not stamping out TEH GAY that these soldiers deserved to die.

It seems that the Phelps gang got more than they could handle when they decided to protest in Little Rock, Arkansas on Friday, September 19th.

September 19th, you see, is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Thusly, the Central Arkansas Pastafarians organized the best WBC counter-protest of all time.

They dressed up like pirates and headed downtown, where they stood across the street from the Phelps gang and promptly proceeded to steal all the attention!

Note how their signs point out the other things God supposedly hates, according to the Book of Leviticus: "God hates shrimp!" "God hates cotton-polyester blends!"

According to Leslie Newell Peacock of the Arkansas Blog (which is part of the Arkansas Times), the Westboro fools couldn't handle not being the center of attention. "With cars honking and waving at the pirates and a TV crew giving them all the attention, the Phelps group -- with a child in tow, sadly -- picked up their 'fag' epithets and went away. Pitiful."

This is the way to handle the hate groups, at least these ones who are no more than mouth-running attention whores. Don't try to take their free speech away, just use your free speech more loudly! (The hate groups who actually use violence, well THOSE ones you have my blessing to handle in whatever creative ways you see fit.)

Check out the guy in the back of the Pirate Pastafarians, by the way. It's Gandalf! If Gandalf himself shows up to join in your counter-protest, you're OBVIOUSLY doing something right. (I know, it's probably supposed to be God as portrayed in Renaissance artwork, but it looks more like Gandalf to me.)

I think if Phelps and his phools ever come around here, I will try to gather up a gang to counter-protest while wearing funky awesome costumes.

Hair Length Woes

My hair has gotten to be shoulder length after several years of keeping it shorter. This is the phase when I usually start getting irritated with it and chop it off again.

You see, the problem is, it wraps around my neck when I roll over in my sleep and wakes me up! I can't stand having anything snug around my neck. Including, apparently, my own hair. I've tried putting it in a braid at night, but the braid is lumpy!

This is just not good. Help!

And the parade!

Because what fun is winning the Stanley Cup without a great big party?

But first, a shot from the party Mike Illitch threw for the players and their families and friends when they arrived at Detroit Metro Airport early Thursday morning. Could it possibly be any more random? Aaron Downey and an unknown woman, presumably a friend of his, are doing the hustle, while a REALLY PISSED-OFF-LOOKING chef walks by in the background. I don't think this one needs any LOL help from me!


The rest of the photos are courtesy of the Detroit Free Press, of course. Thanks, Freep!

Epic Win: Stanley Cup Finals, Game 6

Detroit 3, Pittsburgh 2. That's all the commentary it needs. :-)

(Most photos courtesy of the Detroit Free Press, except the triple shot of Marc-Andre Fleury, which originally came from NBC and was stop-motioned by my mom.)

Finals, Game 4

I had started LOLing Game 4, but then Game 5 happened, and it's rather hard to LOL after a 3OT loss! So there are only 3 pictures for Game 4 because that's all I got done. (The picture of the Penguins bench is actually not from this game, but it seemed an appropriate place to put it.)

Stanley Cup Finals, Game 2

With today's LOLs, we showcase my favorite joke of all time:
What's brown and sticky?
A stick!

Plz to be having funs now, k?

(Photos from the Detroit Free Press and Detroit News.)

Stanley Cup Finals, Game 1

Well, this had to be the best start to a game I have ever seen. First, Pittsburgh goalie Marc-Andre Fleury tried to run dramatically on to the ice to start the game.... and promptly fell flat on his face!
(No, I didn't give it a caption! It's too perfect! Adding anything else would ruin it!)

Next, when Pittsburgh's starting line was announced, Budd Lynch, the very dignified rink announcer at Joe Louis Arena, announced Pittsburgh's hugely overhyped and whiny crybaby captain Sidney Crosby as "Steven Crosby."

But the beginning, as gloriously entertaining as it was, was not as perfect as the ending. Red Wings 4, Pittsburgh 0. WOOOOOOOT!

(Photos this time are from the Detroit Free Press AND the Detroit News, with the exception of the picture of Marc-Andre taking the fall, which is from CBS Sportsline.)

Ohai, i give u lolz nao.

Western Conference Champions! WOOOOT!

(Photos courtesy of the Freep, as usual. Thank you, Detroit Free Press photographers, for making my new hobby possible!)

Round 3 Game 3

Moving right along through the Conference Finals....

(Photos, Free Press, you know.)

At last, more NHLOL

I'd planned on doing one of these up after each Detroit win, but with games every other night, it's hard to keep up! So here's a combination of LOLs from Games 1 and 2 of the Western Conference Finals against the Dallas Stars.

But first.... When I went to the Detroit Free Press's website to pull down the pictures for this grouping, I found a crowd shot with Casey and me in it! See, there we are!



(As usual, photos courtesy of the Detroit Free Press. Thanks, Freep!)