Thursday, September 25, 2008

Ban Dan Brown!

Dan Brown novels are a menace to society! He should be banned at once.

Yahoo! News reports that a 25 year old man who stabbed a priest in a church in Rome did so because Dan Brown's The DaVinci Code led him to believe that he was the Antichrist.

So, since every time an act of violence is perpetrated by a young person, organizations such as the American Family Association and Jack Chick Ministries call for bans on violent video games, why are they not now calling for a ban on Dan Brown's novels?

Oh, right. They think the Catholic Church is the Antichrist, and Catholics aren't true Christians. Why, they probably think this delusional man in Rome did them a favor by removing one of "the Devil's servants" from the world!

Now, I've read both The DaVinci Code and Angels and Demons, and I must say, the violent video games are usually of far higher quality.

Dan Brown represents a danger to our culture and values! (Or at least, the culture and values of those who advocate quality storytelling!) Wake up, America! Won't someone think of the children? Where is the outrage?

But I'm not about to call for a ban on books of any form, certainly not just a few days before the ALA's Banned Books Week!

No, I just think we should ban Dan Brown himself. Someone keep that man away from the computer!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Best. Counter-Protest. EVER.

Westboro Baptist Church, run by the "Reverend" Fred Phelps, is quite possibly the most insanely hateful group of bigots hiding behind Bibles I have ever heard of in my life. These are the ones who run the website "" These are the ones who show up at soldiers' funerals to protest, because of course the US is such an ungodly nation for not stamping out TEH GAY that these soldiers deserved to die.

It seems that the Phelps gang got more than they could handle when they decided to protest in Little Rock, Arkansas on Friday, September 19th.

September 19th, you see, is International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Thusly, the Central Arkansas Pastafarians organized the best WBC counter-protest of all time.

They dressed up like pirates and headed downtown, where they stood across the street from the Phelps gang and promptly proceeded to steal all the attention!

Note how their signs point out the other things God supposedly hates, according to the Book of Leviticus: "God hates shrimp!" "God hates cotton-polyester blends!"

According to Leslie Newell Peacock of the Arkansas Blog (which is part of the Arkansas Times), the Westboro fools couldn't handle not being the center of attention. "With cars honking and waving at the pirates and a TV crew giving them all the attention, the Phelps group -- with a child in tow, sadly -- picked up their 'fag' epithets and went away. Pitiful."

This is the way to handle the hate groups, at least these ones who are no more than mouth-running attention whores. Don't try to take their free speech away, just use your free speech more loudly! (The hate groups who actually use violence, well THOSE ones you have my blessing to handle in whatever creative ways you see fit.)

Check out the guy in the back of the Pirate Pastafarians, by the way. It's Gandalf! If Gandalf himself shows up to join in your counter-protest, you're OBVIOUSLY doing something right. (I know, it's probably supposed to be God as portrayed in Renaissance artwork, but it looks more like Gandalf to me.)

I think if Phelps and his phools ever come around here, I will try to gather up a gang to counter-protest while wearing funky awesome costumes.