Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Fungal Omissions

One of the things my soon-to-be-ex has said to me several times is that he doesn’t know how many lies I’ve told him. My answer is always that if I was lying to anyone, it was myself. Anything I told him wrongly was an unfortunate side effect of my own self-delusion.

However, today as I was getting ready to go home from work, thinking about what I wanted for dinner, I realize that I did lie to him once—or at least, I omitted the full truth.

One of the meals I used to cook for us was chicken stroganoff. It’s really a very simple thing. Sauté some chicken pieces, let them simmer in the mix of water and sauce powder, add some sour cream at the end, and serve the whole thing over egg noodles. Very tasty! It’s one of my favorites, and he also seemed fond of it, which I considered fortunate because he is a very picky eater. He’s allergic to shellfish, so I certainly don’t blame him for avoiding that, but he also hates anything spicy, anything with mayonnaise, almost all fruits and vegetables, and most especially mushrooms. Oh, how he would gripe if I wanted mushrooms on anything! We had to order separate pizzas if I wanted veggie pizza—we couldn’t just get a medium with his toppings on one half and mine on the other, we had to get two smalls, because he didn’t want the mushrooms “corrupting” his pizza. Never have I seen a more burning hatred for any food item.

When my mom used to make stroganoff when I was a kid, she’d always include mushrooms in the sauce, but out of respect for my husband’s preferences I never did, even though I always kind of felt it was lacking without them. Not really a big deal.

Well, one day, I happened to look at the ingredient list on the sauce packet while the sauce was cooking. Powdered mushrooms???? Yes, the mushrooms were built right in to the sauce. Hmm. What to do? Should I tell him or not? He’d eaten it before and not noticed them, and if I did tell him he’d probably refuse to ever eat it again. So I never did tell him. I always felt a slight twinge of guilt about it, but I never told him.

They say that confession is good for the soul, and you know what? They’re right. I do feel better after getting that out. Thanks for reading.


Tirithien said...

Deliciously evil. ;-)

Bougie Black Boy said...

Yeah, reminds me of when I had an exchange student who was Muslim and we gave him collard greens with PORK. and we told him it was beef.

clew said...

Anyone who doesn't like mushrooms is seriously disturbed anyway. ;)

Bougie Black Boy said...

I don't like mushrooms either!
but my reason is because (see my blog "rat boy entry) the rat's liver looked like mushrooms, and i was traumatized for life.

you shoulda just married me, since i'm allergic to the same thing he is. LOL

but i could do the vegetarian thing.

Bainwen Gilrana said...

Well, Stephen, you never asked ME to marry you. You asked Stacy freshman year, and you asked Jill senior year, but you never asked me. And I could have played along for the restaurant crowd just as well as they did! Ah well. It was never meant to be. ;-)