Monday, August 08, 2005

"To love is to live."

“To love is to live. I am still alive.”

This was graffiti on the side of a boxcar—upside down, no less. I sat in my car waiting impatiently for the train to pass, this southbound train creeping away from Metro Detroit to points unknown. Most boxcar graffiti I see is unreadable, fake gang signs or phrases of random words that don’t make sense to me, but this one struck me like a bolt of lightning.

Since the day I realized I would have to leave my soon-to-be-ex husband, something inside me has felt a little numb, a little dead. Something has been cold and empty, even in spite of all that goes on around me and the life I have been creating for myself. I have been going in the hope that this will heal in time.

It will do so, with time. Of this I am sure.

For I am still alive, and I still love. My heart did not die when my marriage did.

Whoever you are who felt this so strongly that you had to paint this on the highest part of a boxcar door, you unknown brother or sister of my soul, you are not alone. I also still love, and I am also still alive. I am with you. And I thank you.


Bougie Black Boy said...

Reminds me of the tragic scene in The Hours with Virginia Wolfe (Nicole Kidman) (my favorite female writer and favorite actress, respectively), sat at the train station with her husband. She wanted to leave, to go to her home where she was happy, or at least, happier. Her husband didn't necessarily understand this concept. She said something to him similiar to "to love is to live"; and she knew that she can't live on the Dr's orders on a husband-prescribed remedy of staying indoors, blah blah.

Tirithien said...

Now, the task is to live. :-)

clew said...

It's amazing how a random glimpse of something can strike us so perfectly that it changes our day, even our life.

Whispers from God.


clew said...
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Anonymous said...

Funny... A friend of mine also claims to have seen this on a train. I googled the phrase and your blog came up. It's a small world.