Friday, September 30, 2005

And into the Present

The divorce hearing went well enough, as such things go.

My mom went with me this morning, which was nice because I was so nervous. I was so glad I didn't have to go alone. My mom absolutely hates driving to Detroit, and she was shocked that I did it with such ease!

We got downtown to the courthouse with plenty of time to spare, but then had to wait for what seemed like an hour for the elevator. (The courtroom was on the 16th floor, which is why we didn't just walk up!) It turned out fine, though, because the courtroom hadn't even been unlocked yet.

The 9:00 time which I had been given turned out not to be our hearing time, but registration time. There were a few more papers I needed to fill out, and then we waited. My mom and I sat and chatted quietly, while the ex sat just behind us.

When the judge was ready to come in, it was just like on TV! The bailiff actually said, "All rise!" and we all stood up, and then she said, "The Honorable Judge Youngblood presiding in this Third Circuit Court. You may be seated."

There was one case before ours, a small custody issue, and then the clerk called our case. The judge (who was super nice) asked us to verify our identities, then swore me in and asked me to testify that I'd lived in Wayne County for 180 days before filing, that the marriage had broken down, and that there was no chance of reconciliation. She confirmed that I wanted my maiden name back, then asked the ex if he agreed with all the papers he had signed. He said he did, then the judge granted the divorce. And it was done.

It was much easier than I had thought it would be. But I truly hope I never need this information for future reference. I'm glad it was so simple and didn't have to be drawn out, but then some part of me thinks that getting a divorce should not be so simple, if that makes any sense.

Now I get to start work on the part of my life I should have done years ago, the part where I figure out who I am and who I am becoming. Time for rebuilding.


clew said...

I remember that morning. The courtroom, the judge, the hollow feeling which was an odd blend of relief of it finally being behind me and melancholy that it was so simple to dissolve something so serious.

Legally, anyway.

I know you'll be fine, Bainwen dear. But if you need to talk, you have my email. Even when you're good with something, that doesn't always mean it's easy. But you've got great support :).

Ruben said...

THANK GOD! The divorce wasn't brutal. Even thought it went reletively easy; it still probabaly bugs yu a bit. At least now, you're free to move on and to better things.

Bougie Black Boy said...

Remember this song?
"... and I'm free. I'm free at last. Free to live, Free to love, and forget about my past. . . "

Tirithien said...

Hmm... how do I say this.

Starting serious...

I'm damn proud of you. It takes massive amounts of guts to stand up and get away from something like this, especially when it is so easy not to. You'll probably just say that you have what strength is given you, but hear me well, my dear- you are strong. Fundamentally, at your core and at your base. You are strong, and you are wise beyond your years.

Now, the lighter side...

SQUEE! It's over, it's done, now you can move on and live the life of your dreams. :-)

It's hard, but this hasn't stained you as you are. You're still as pure as cut crystal, and as fine as the purest gold.

"There might be a little dust on the bottle, but don't let it fool you about what's inside. There might be a little dust on the bottle, but it's one of those things that gets sweeter with time."

Old Creole Williams knew his stuff. ;-)

Bainwen Gilrana said...

Thank you all very much. :-)

It was so strange, wondering how it could possibly be this easy to get a divorce. It really does seem like it should be harder.

But really, when I think about it, what should be harder is to get married in the first place. If I were in charge of things, I'd make it so people had to take classes on "How to be married" and "Do you really want to be married to this person?" before they could get the marriage license.

naive-no-more said...

I remember that morning too as well as feeling just like you. Every one told me they were sorry, but what I wanted to hear was "Congratulations!" So, cheers Bainwen!!!