Friday, April 07, 2006

Jealousy: Friday Confessional Series

(Maybe I’ll just confess things on the Fridays that I have something worth confessing?)

One of my co-workers is very pregnant. Her baby is due at the end of May. So of course the other women in the office have been making a fuss over her, giving her unwanted advice, and all the other things that happen to a new mom-to-be. This is her first baby, so it should be very exciting.

I am happy for her, because I know she and her husband had been trying for awhile.

But I am also heartbreakingly jealous of her, and I will tell you why.

They decided they wanted to know if they were having a girl or a boy. According to the ultrasounds, their baby is very definitely a boy.

Since she found out, the mom-to-be has done nothing but complain about how much she’d rather have a girl, because “boys aren’t as cute” and “there aren’t any cute clothes for boys.”

I want a baby boy more than anything in the world. But here I am waiting patiently for the time to come when I can provide a baby with a good life. It could be years.

And she will have her baby in her arms by the end of next month, and she can’t even show any gratitude for it.


Michael said...

Found your blog while doing a search for Toledo Storm blog, and stopped to read.

Yes, your co-worker should stop complaining. But, I'm sure she'll change her tune when the baby is born. The sex of the child ultimately doesn't matter. A parent's love just can't be described; has to be felt and experienced. She'll change.

For you, don't be down. It seems you have a good outlook. I don't know you so can't offer advice. Just hang in, do your best and it'll work out for the best. (Yes, that's so cliche, but the best I can offer now.)

clew said...

I know just how you feel, Bainwen. As you know, we had a lot of difficulties having children, and there were many times I bit my tongue till it bled when other women would complain about the blessing they'd been given. Some people are just boneheaded.

I have no comforting words ... but I don't think you need them. You know the real deal. :)

martie said...

Ditto what Clew said about the "boneheads". Some people just don't EVER get it!

naneth said...

Remember how I was about your baby brother? I didn't want a boy, I wanted another girl! Silly me. The moment I saw him, my heart just filled with love, and I hadn't had a wonderous high like that since you were born!

Your co-worker has no idea. She thinks she knows what she's saying, but she doesn't; not until she sees her new baby boy for the first time. Then she will "get" it.

As for you, my dearest, God will know when the time is right, and you shall be blessed. Until then, try not to be impatient; look forward to a future with your very own baby. (((hugs!)))

naive-no-more said...

Bainwen, this is closer to my heart than you know ~ even knowing my story. I still feel the biting teeth of jealousy when I watched other woman getting what I wanted so badly. Them complaining was the sting that never went away.

Hugs to you girl. Your patience will pay off big one day.