At about midnight-thirty, my cell phone rang. NO ONE calls me at that hour, so I figured it was an emergency and jumped out of my sickbed to answer it. It was just a wrong number. The caller apologized and hung up. The phone rang again just seconds later, but I let the voicemail pick it up. I figured that would convince the guy that he really did have a wrong number.
Surprise, surprise! He left me a voicemail, so this morning I was greeted by a message from some guy who apparently feels he is God's gift to women. Here are some of the highlights, bad grammar left intact:
"Hey, girl, I know this a wrong number and all, but you gots a really beautiful voice and you sound like you could use some male attention...."
"I don't know if you gots a man, and I don't care. I can take care of your needs better than he can..."
"So if you wants to get down with your man Jay, I up in DEE-troit, and here's my number...."
Truly a WTF moment! Did the guy really think this would work?
To make it even more surreal, he had kind of smoothed out his voice from the first time he'd called, and sounded now like a bad imitation of Barry White and/or the Ladies' Man from Saturday Night Live.
So, just a note to any wanna-be Casanovas who think that leaving voicemail with a wrong number is a way to meet women: it's not going to work. Instead, it's just going to get your skanky message posted online for all the woman's friends to ridicule.
I'm not sure whether to laugh or be disgusted. I think I'll laugh. But if he calls back again, the cops will be getting a phone call from me!
And I still feel sick. On my way back to bed now. Nighty-night.